Midnight Evenings.

Friday, April 29, 2005

Let it snow

10:17 pm

Ohohoho..... how is everyone's summer break going? (The university students anyway)

Good? Warm? Hah, like true Canadian Alberta weather today instead of the nice hot weather that is supposed to be here, it snowed.

That's right folks, it is April 29 and it has snowed. No I was not smoking anything and yes I'm positive, no I'm not joking. Though the snow's not entirely unexpected.

The last two days were amazingly chilly and it sucked because my apartment had the heat turned off when we had that 'warm' spell a couple days ago. (Which lasted about a week) So when it turned cold the apartment turned into a fridge. Doesn't help that the windows are a single pane and the side that is supposed to be fixed closed opens everytime I close the side of the window that is supposed to open. (Did that make sense?) Anyway they turned on the heat this morning and I'm glad cause the air mattress gets really cold. I had to get up and put on sweat pants, a t-shirt and a sweater and it was still cold. So I raided all the other beds for the blankets and laid one on the mattress as a cover and used the other 5 as regular blankets. I would have settled for the hot water bottle that I had but unfortunately I found out the hard way that there was a leak in it. (dag nab it) >.<

I don't think I've slept in the bedroom since the last time my sister came out which was in march and before then when my aunt came out which was in February or so.

I wonder if it'll snow enough to make snowmen. I haven't made a snowman in a long time. No one ever wants to help me make one. They say snow sucks. I say nay. I like how snow looks as it glistens in the moonlight especially when there is a fresh fall of snow. I could sit and look at it for hours on end. That is one of the reasons that I do not want to leave fort McMurray even though we get really really cold winters. Because we're so far north the sky is nice and dark so the stars come out really clear and the moon is really big when it's full and shines down through the branches of trees that you can't help but admire the view. Not to mention the Aurora Borealis.

I personally like winter and the snow though many would curse me to hell. Sure it's cold, but all you really have to do is get over your vanity and dress like an eskimo (or at least smartly). Winter is beautiful. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

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Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Baby Girl

5:02 pm

They say this town, the stars stay up all night.
Well, I don't know, can't see 'em,
For the glow of the neon lights
and it's a long way from here,
to the place where the home fires burn.
Well its two thousand miles and one left turn...

Dear Mom and Dad,
Please send money,
I'm so broke that it ain't funny.
Well, I don't need much, just enough to get me through.
Please don't worry 'cause I'm alright,
see, I'm playing here at the bar tonight.
Well, this time I'm going to make our dreams come true.
Well, I love you more than anything in the world.
Love, your baby girl.

Black top, blue skies,
big town full of little white lies,
Well, everybody's your friend, you can never be sure.
They'll promise fancy cars and diamond rings,
and all sorts of shiny things,
but girl, you'll remember what your knees are for.

Dear Mom and Dad,
Please send money,
I'm so broke that it ain't funny.
Well, I don't need much, just enough to get me through.
Please don't worry 'cause I'm alright,
see, I'm playing here at the bar tonight.
Well, this time I'm going to make our dreams come true.
Well, I love you more than anything in the world.
Love, your baby girl.

I know that I'm on my way.
Well, I can tell every time I play
and I know it's worth all the dues I pay,
when I can write to you and say,

Dear Mom and Dad,
I'll send money,
I'm so rich that it ain't funny.
Well, it ought to be more than enough to get you through.
Please don't worry 'cause I'm alright,
see, I'm staying here at the Ritz tonight.
What do you know we made our dreams come true.
And there are fancy cars and diamond rings,
but you know that they don't mean a thing.
Well, they all add up to nothing compared to you.
Well remember me in ribbons and curls.
I still love you more than anything in the world,
Love, your baby girl

Your baby girl

(Dear Mom and Dad,
please send money,
I'm so broke that it ain't funny,
well I don't need much just enough to get me through.)

Your baby girl

(please don't worry 'cause I'm alright,
I'm playing here at the bar tonight,
-dreams come true.)

Sugarland ~ "Baby Girl"

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Monday, April 18, 2005

Open up.

7:39 pm

This is why I never tell anyone how I feel.

I told my mother that I was kind of lonely and guess what? I'm scolded by my grandmother saying that before I didn't want my mom and now I do since she's no longer there to do dishes, cook, clean and all that crap.

Fuck man. When I said I was lonely didn't mean I wanted her as a maid or something. I just wanted some god damned company or something. Or at least something to do. I have never NEVER said I didn't want her around. I don't care about laundry and food and cleaning. I clean regularly, I can do my own fucking laundry and I can eat whatever the hell is in my fridge. I've been doing fine for the past 2 years and I will continue to do fine for the rest of my life. I am not that inconsiderate or ungrateful for fucks sake. I have never told anyone or even given the hint to anyone that I didn't want them around or that I only wanted them around to do things for me. I mean sure there are times I want to be alone or when I'm on a short temper but there has never been a time that I wanted them out of my life completely and absolutely.

I get the impression that my mom found this all amusing. Well thank you. I'm glad you can tell that it hurt (haha right. No.)

And they wonder why I never open up. Never tell how I feel. This is why I never say anything. I'm just too nice to say anything back against my grandmother. Stop mocking me when I tell you things and maybe I'll open up more. You complain that I never say I love you and all that shit. Well I think if you really love them, actions will show in greater detail then words. If you can't decipher that then I can't help you. Words are just that. Words. You think you know me. Sure you know my favorite color and some of my habits. But how well do you really know me? Not well apparently.

They always somehow change things and switch everything up. Do you know what I've gone through? Everything? You do hey? Well here's a news cast for you. You don't know anything that's happened and the extent that it's affected me. And I don't appreciate the fucking mocking haughty attitude when I tell you something serious either. Well from now on you'll all get crap-all from me.

Fuck you all.

Wow....I feel better now.

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Monday, April 11, 2005

Sheepish

8:20 pm

Ehehe, how should I say this? Oops?

Okay oops is not a good word to use cause what happened was totally my fault. Procrastination. I am so glad that it's not worth that much.

Today is the cutoff date for my Econ quiz. That means, do it today or never do it. Well first of all I didn't read the chapters I was supposed to read till like, two hours before I left to do it, and it was a confusing chapter I tell you. Made no sense what-so-ever.

Trying to explain algebra and variables in words is confusing. The examples even more so. Aiya. Especially in relation to econ. Augh, though it could just be me. But after I 'finished' reading the chapter, I was like, 'uh-huh, nope, not going to pass this one.' And technically I didn't pass because you were supposed to get at least an 80% on the quiz. You know what I got? hahahahah... ^.^;; ......I got a 65%......which I guess is not very good but at least in a sense it's not completely failing. But guess what? I'm supposed to do a second attempt on it but I didn't bring the text with me to brush up or stare at the gibberish that was written so that was completely out of the question.

I Figured I wasn't going to do much better on the second then I did on the first anyhow. I wouldn't have had the time anyway. You're locked out of the program for a half hour and you have to finish all quizzes before 8:15pm. Right......finished the first try at 7:55pm. Half hour black-out time? Yeeeeeah....no. I'm not going to make it. So I just left.

I knew that the lowest quiz mark that you got was taken off but when I read the fine print in the course outline, my 65% would have been even worst cause the second attempt is included and the average is the final mark on the quiz. So 65 plus 0 divided by 2....32.5%

So glad it's taken out. Hallelujah. *Sigh* Yes I know I'm bad, and I'm sure this will all catch up to me but right I got to kick the habit.

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